


Chapter's Close

by T97Carolina



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:39:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/T97Carolina/pseuds/T97Carolina
Summary: With all of the thoughts, feelings, and theories around Adena and Coco's relationship, I found myself trying to understand what may have happened between them.  This follows Adena's initial breakup with Coco and her attempt to work things out with her in Paris (unsuccessfully, obviously).





	Chapter's Close

**Author's Note:**

> I have Coco call Adena "Ade" sometimes. I wanted a familiar name w/o using a pet name. I have this pronounced "Ah deh" . . . like the ade part of the Spanish word adelante . . . if that makes sense for people. . .

Adena stares at Coco’s contact in her phone, her thumb hovering over the call button. Adena closes her eyes. There are so many reasons that they need to break up, but replaying her earlier conversation with Kat is what provides her the courage to press down on her phone. 

Adena can feel the knots in her stomach tightening as the phone rings. 

“Coco,” Adena greets in a solemn tone. She hadn’t planned how to have this conversation. Adena hears Coco sigh before speaking.

“Adena, don’t . . . don’t fucking do this. Not tonight. I’ve had a crazy day.”

“There’s never a good time.”

“Ade, we’re fine. We’re fine.” Coco’s tone is firm. Dismissive. 

“We can’t even be in the same city for more than a couple of weeks!” Adena feels herself losing control of her emotions. Feels the frustrations of the past year and a half flooding her body and mind. 

“So?!” Coco argues, “I left. We needed space and I left.”

“It shouldn’t be like this, Coco,” Adena insists. “And it’s been like this for too long.”

Coco groans loudly, the sound becoming distant. Adena can imagine Coco gripping the phone tightly, to keep herself from throwing it in frustration. “What do you want, Adena?! You want me to pack up, leave everything I’m working on to go back to New York, to you? I’ll do it.”

“No.” Adena already feels drained by this conversation. The words are different, but the pattern is the same. But she won’t give in this time. More softly, “Stay. Coming back won’t solve anything. “ Adena pauses for a second. Coco hasn’t responded. Because she expects Adena to take back her last statement, to offer to go to Paris. “Coco, you know this isn’t working. We’re just too scared to let each other go. . . but it’s time.”

***

“Est-ce que tout va bien?” Adena watches Kat shut the door and her heart drops. She wishes Kat would stay, but it’s probably best that she didn’t. Because what could Coco be calling her for at 3am? 

“Ade,” Coco slurs, “please. I - I don’t know how to do this without you.”

“Where are you, Coco?” Adena pleads with Coco to focus.

“I love you.” Adena can hear the cracking in Coco’s voice, along with the sound of vehicles flying past her. She’s been drinking and is clearly emotional, not a good combination.

“Coco, please, where are you? I want to make sure you get home safely.”

“What do you care?!” Coco’s tone shifts. Angry Coco is better than sad Coco. Adena sinks into the sofa, letting go of the tension in her body she hadn’t realized she was holding. Adena covers her eyes with her hand. She was prepared to be awake late tonight, but this was not what she expected to be doing. 

***

Adena lays in bed, exhausted from her phone call with Coco. It’s late and she should sleep, but her thoughts won’t let her. Was this the right decision? Should I have broken up with Coco when she was in Paris? But when would we be in the same city again? It’s been too long, it was time. 

But Coco is taking this so much harder than I anticipated. Yes three years is a long time and of course it’s expected to be hard, but . . . Adena’s mind runs through the course of their relationship. Their meeting, the first year of blissful happiness. And the next two years where the happy bits seem fewer and further between. Adena shakes her head trying to rid herself of the memories. No. No there had been happy times, but they haven’t been happy, truly happy for so long. It was time. There were so many reasons to break up. 

I can’t believe I cheated on Coco. I can’t believe I didn’t tell Coco. No, telling Coco would only alleviate my guilt. And make her believe that Kat was the reason for our breakup. But she wasn’t. At least she isn’t the main reason. She might be the catalyst, but I’ve been thinking about this for way too long. 

I can’t believe this is how I’m starting with Kat. What is this even? Is this a relationship? Does Kat even know what she wants? What if this is just some experimentation? She did say she was straight when we first met. But what she’s said since. . . and the way she acts, the way we’ve kissed. That all felt real. 

Breathe, Adena commands herself. One step at a time, she reassures herself. We’ll talk tomorrow.

***

Adena throws her bag on the floor. She curls up on the sofa, holding her knees to her, as she processes her conversation with Kat. She shouldn’t have gone to the office, but she was so upset. After getting very little sleep the night before, after processing the end of her relationship, and the confusion around whatever was happening with Kat. A sudden “I just can’t do this” text was too much. 

She initially approached Kat in anger and after refocusing herself tried to open the lines of communication. But Kat was so cold. In a way she hadn’t experienced before and it was shocking. Adena felt like she was grasping at explanations because Kat wouldn’t offer her any. Perhaps it was Kat’s fear of being with a woman; Adena tried to reassure her. 

How could Kat say relationships weren’t her thing? They had talked the night before, sure they hadn’t defined what they were, but breaking up with Coco had to be an indicator of how serious Adena was. And now she’s trying to push Adena into going back to Coco?

Adena can’t tell if she wants to scream or cry. She’s mad at Kat and hurt by her, and yet she wants her. Wants Kat to call or text, to explain what happened so suddenly. To talk to her. 

Adena rests her forehead against her knees, processing her thoughts, focusing on her breathing. 

Her phone rings. 

Adena feels hope stir in her heart as she checks her phone, but it’s Coco. 

“Allo?”

“Hey,” Coco offers softly. “I’m sorry about last night. It’s . . . just rough.”

“I understand,” Adena offers.

“Earlier today I walked past Sara’s old studio. And I thought of you, of that time your heel broke when we were literally running late to Sara’s art show. And so you tried to break off the heel of your other shoe, but weren’t able to. So I had to carry you the rest of the way, because you hobbling was too funny, we couldn’t stop laughing.” Coco lets out a short laugh. 

Adena smiles at the memory. She remembers the incident; it was funny. It’s an odd feeling to reflect on the relationship with her now ex. Everything hurts and feels confusing. And then the tears start falling from her eyes. 

Adena feels sad reflecting on her relationship, the relationship that she had finally worked up the nerve to end. And so soon after, whatever she and Kat had seems to be gone. And she feels guilty for crying about Kat while she’s on the phone with Coco. And now guilt over the pain she has caused Coco. The tears won’t stop coming.

“Hey,” Coco whispers, “Adena, please. Don’t, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I - I just missed you. And wanted to talk. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

Adena continues to cry, unable to respond to Coco. How can she tell Coco that the tears falling aren’t for her, not really. The silence hangs between them until Coco breaks it. 

“Why are we doing this, Ade? This is hurting me, and it’s clear it’s hurting you. You were right, things haven’t been great between us, but I love you. We love each other. Let’s - Let’s just put this behind us. Come to Paris, please.”

***

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with me?” Coco places the last piece of luggage by the bed. 

“I don’t think it’s wise for us to live together. We’re not together, Coco,” Adena reminds her , “we’re seeing if we can make things work. And I think staying in the same apartment would complicate things.”

“Okay,” Coco concedes. 

“Thank you for your help. I think I’m going to start unpacking and trying to settle in.”

“Oh, yeah, um,” Coco falters trying to decide on whether or not to hug Adena. When Adena begins opening her suitcase, Coco decides to just walk away, “See you later.”

***

Adena stares at the trees rustling in the wind. She hears Coco still talking. It feels as though Coco has been talking forever without break. 

“I don’t feel considered,” Adena interrupts suddenly. 

“What?”

“We’ve been here for half an hour, and I don’t think you’ve asked a single question about my day.”

“If you want to talk, you can talk. You don’t have to wait for me to ask you something.”

“It’s not just today. I think - I think this is one of the issues we had when we were together. I don’t think I ever really felt considered. Or the amount of consideration you had to offer was limited, and it would be gone within a few days.”

Coco sighs. “Wow.”

“Coco, I’m trying to talk about what felt wrong when we were together. To see if it can be fixed.”

“To see if I can be fixed.”

“That’s not what I meant; it’s just how I felt. How I still feel.”

“I can’t - I’m not doing this here or now,” Coco gestures towards the other patrons of the cafe. 

Adena watches her walk away. So much for trying to work things out. 

***

The weather is spectacularly warm and Adena feels happy about wandering the streets of Paris. There’s a little gelato shop across the street which sounds like the perfect addition to her afternoon. The area is picturesque, so Adena pulls out her phone for a selfie. 

Immediately, almost instinctively, she clicks the share icon and sends the picture to Kat. Kat’s name is at the top of her recent messages list. Shortly after her arrival in Paris, Kat had texted her “You didn’t smuggle any contraband on this flight, did you?” 

They texted infrequently at first, just to say hi and see how the other was. Until they more explicitly decided to be friends. Now they text almost every day. Adena sees Coco’s name below Kat’s. It’s not surprising to Adena that she didn’t think to send Coco her selfie. Doesn’t that mean something?

The last conversation they held via text was about Coco going out of town for work. And before that they scheduled a dinner. Although she and Coco were making an effort to see each other and talk, they never could quite get into the conversations that Adena wanted to. Coco avoided, found excuses, or got upset. They weren’t in a relationship, but some days it felt like they were, as though they were right where they were before the breakup in New York. The inability to spend extended periods of time together without arguing, the need to get away from each other. But now they didn’t have the happy first few days of being reunited. 

***  
Adena twirls her fork through her pasta, lost in her own thoughts. She doesn’t know what to talk about with Coco, everything feels like work. Coco seems similarly engrossed in staring at her water. 

“Why are we doing this?” Adena asks.

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t think we can work things out.”

“I didn’t want to lose you. But I think we lost each other long ago.”

Adena slightly nods her head in agreement. Coco calls for the check and bids Adena goodbye. It’s sad to watch a chapter of her life close, to watch it walk away, but Adena also feels a sense of peace. That she and Coco were able to agree, were both able to walk away knowing it was the right thing to do. 

***

Adena has been thinking about her call with Kat. Kat can’t take the plunge, leave her job and come to Paris. But what’s holding Adena here? She came impulsively, propelled by sadness. She and Coco are done trying to see if they could be together again. What is keeping Adena in Paris? She can’t find inspiration and isn’t working. 

Maybe it’s time to go back to New York she muses dialing Kat’s number.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how satisfied I am with this. There is so much unknown about Coco. I cannot believe that Adena would cheat on Coco easily, so I strongly believe there had to be an extended period of dissatisfaction within her relationship. I reflected on the end of my long term, primarily long distance relationship to help guide my understanding of why Adena would go to Paris and try to work things out with Coco. Hopefully this is a satisfying theory on what may have happened and doesn't piss anyone off with Adena (because I love her, don't say mean things about her!)
> 
> If you have theories or comments I'd love to hear them!


End file.
